My 30-Day Quarantine Perspective

On March 16^th I received a call from one of the instructors of my Yoga business, (Alif Yoga). Her voice was alarming, she was calling to see if it was safe for her to teach her last class of the day at an LA county school. Since rumors of immediate school shutdowns were everywhere. At the time, I had about 5 tabs on my computer open, ranging from news of Governor Newsoms order to possibly shutdown schools in the LA area to Licensing websites posting the latest Corona Virus guidelines to multiple email threads between our clients and I and another instructor calling on the other line. Needless to say, I had to have answers fast.

In the next 10 hours, emails and calls were made to inform our clients and instructors that Alif Yoga was officially on shutdown. I told myself it was a conscientious decision but went to bed that night with a well of sadness in my heart. I felt loss for myself, my instructors and for the people who relied on us for a few moments of peace through yoga and for the world that was beginning to quickly unravel. I felt hopeless in my inability to help anyone; stress and confusion engulfed me like it did other small business owners. The word “perspective” flashed across the page of my mind and everything shifted…for the better.

My mind drifted to stories my grandparents and parents; who grew up across the world, told me of emigrating/immigrating to new countries, the wars they’d seen, and even about food rationing. Their stories involved air raid sirens that warned everyone to take shelter, sometimes in trenches that the entire neighborhood worked on digging together. I would imagine the blaring sounds of those air raid sirens and just the thought made me shutter. My imagination drew out the faces of the people crouched down in the trenches, looking up at the night sky as fighter jets zoomed above. My parents and their families must have been praying for the jets to pass them and not make them their next target.

My grandparents and parents didn’t share these stories to scare me, warn or teach lessons. In fact, their stories often lacked enthusiasm or the charm of wise story tellers. Their eyes were vacant of any feelings that I certainly would attach to such horrifying times. Had they emotionally suppressed past painful memories? Or had they mastered the way of the most enlightened people in the world, who thought that attaching feelings to any event was a form of suffering? Introspective people and various religious beliefs hold that non-attachment is a way to free yourself and reach heights of understanding between the self, God and the universe. I don’t know what was true for the elders in my family. I suppose the answer is also a matter of perspective.

For the past 30 days, I’ve heard various degrees of complaints from people around me about how stressed their work/home life has become due to the stay home order. I’ve also heard the opposite from the same people about how grateful they are now to have their family, health and the means to have what they need. Perhaps, for the first-time ever many people are changing their perspective on how they view life. I know that for me, only two days after the shutdown of my business, I went for my usual walk, replied to incredibly supportive friends and re-discovered a list I made 4 months back when I felt my business was becoming more self-sufficient and I could start exploring other areas of life at my leisure. The irony of this is still blowing my mind!

After the initial shock of shutdown and now only 30 days into the shelter in place order, I have been able to either start, continue or complete many items on my list. Some of them were/are, visiting Morocco and planning my 40^th birthday, continuing yoga and Ayurveda workshops for myself, pushing to get my next book illustrations finished, creating an outdoor yoga space, and even learning to play the Tabla. I’ve heartbreakingly nixed the earlier two items on my list but I am quite grateful to be given a full opportunity to explore the others. I’m also in no rush to cross anything off my list or see its completion as a challenge.

Perhaps, I am choosing to tell this tiny story of mine without attachment and the burden of too many feelings that muddy up the simplicity of life. It’s the way my grandparents told their big and difficult stories. I’m coming to understand that it’s possible that the word perspective itself is fairly misunderstood. “Having perspective” may not mean our struggles have to be compared in their intensity to matter or be validated. Perspective doesn’t have to scold, “Look what others are going through!” Rather, it can gently nudge, “Don’t overlook your blessings.”

Follow us on Instagram @voicebowl to see what I’m doing next on my list!