Overcoming a Turbulent Childhood

All of our lives are made up of a series of events that mold us into who we become. What happens to us in our lives can either make or break us. My name is Pennie C. Thomas and this is my story.

My parents were married in the summer of 1967 and I was born a year later. They stayed married until I was 2 then mom took me back to her home town of San Bernardino. Dad tried to keep in contact until I was 13. During those years my mom had two other girls by two different people. My younger sibling’s dad raised me until I left home. Both, my mom and step dad were drug addicts.

We moved a lot from house to house, making it difficult for my real dad to keep in contact with me. There were times when I wouldn’t see him for months. Neither my mom nor my step dad worked and we survived on welfare. The circumstances I lived in caused me to grow up a lot faster than the average child. I was the eldest and took on the role of mother that I’m certain my siblings needed. I made sure we were dressed for school and ate whatever we had in the house. Kids at school teased us about our clothing and the Kmart shoes we wore though we were always clean. I remember getting the food stamps out of the mailbox before my parents got them to sell them for drugs or cash. I also remember getting my sisters with a wagon and taking them to the grocery store to buy us food.

I left home at 13 and never returned.

My sisters and I weren’t physically or verbally abused but we were neglected. I left home at 13 and never returned. I kept myself in school and lived with friends until I met and moved in with my first husband and his family at 17 years old. Even though I was still a teenager, I was determined not to become a product of my environment. I wanted to be a successful adult who had values and worked hard for the things I wanted.

I had a difficult childhood and once I had my own children, I realized that being a parent is so much more than what my parents were to me; it’s not just surviving. Being a parent meant teaching my children to be kind, giving and grateful for the things that they do have. When my children were younger I tried to teach them through example by buying a homeless person food or giving them bottles of water.  I would tell them if someone tells you they are hungry and you can feed them then do so. I warned not to give money to the homeless – that they would most likely use it on their addiction.

About 10 years ago on a rainy and cold Thanksgiving. I asked my kids if they wanted to make plates with the left overs and take them to the park where I knew some homeless people were living.

I delighted in them all saying “yes”. I also asked them to see if they had any warm clothes in their closets they weren’t using and that we could give those away as well. That day we left with 10 plates and 10-15 warm items for the homeless. This would be the start of our annual homeless drive where we would go the local parks with sack lunches, bottled water, hygiene products, warm clothing, blankets, and shoes and recently added stuffed animals. We placed everything out on tables for the homeless and needy to shop for what they wanted. There were/are families in our local parks with small children who don’t know anything but their way of life. When you actually listen to people in need you realize that they all have a story that we all can relate to on some level.

Over the past two years I started working with some local schools letting them know that I would be a resource for any kids that needed shoes, clothes, school items, hygiene products or food. No child should be teased or go hungry because of things out of their control. I have a spare room “Hunnies Closet” where I store items that I have collected or that are donated for the kids.

Last year during the holidays my family, friends and I raised enough donations to provide 14 families with a complete Thanksgiving dinner and for Christmas we provided over 200 kids with gifts plus 5 families with a complete Christmas dinner. All of this was possible just by asking my family, friends, co-workers and anyone else who would listen. It’s wonderful to know that there are people out there who can empathize with those less fortunate.

Today my life is quite different than it was in my childhood. I have 4 grown children who are amazing, respectful, and family oriented and giving. I was able to raise them with good values and give them a better childhood than I had. Helping other children has become second nature to me and I hope to continue to do so until I can’t anymore.

For some people life is full of hardship and for many it is easier to succumb to their surroundings and blame how they were raised on how they turned out. I on the other hand was fortunate enough to take how I was raised as a life lesson on how the choices you make can truly either make or break you. I believe I was supposed to have gone through the difficult events in my life and they have made me the person I am today. I wouldn’t change any of it.

To be a part of Pennie’s mission to help children and the needy contact her at: Pennie @ Facebook
(Pennie C. Martinez-Thomas) Pennie also recommends assisting charities such as:
Time for a Change Foundation-assisting women and children in abusive relationships
Blessing Angels-helps homeless-college students and families with food, clothing and holidays.
Angels Closet Charities-this is for high school kids to have clothing-shoes and hygiene items.