Advanced Self-Care

Self-care beyond pedicures and soaking in a tub!

Our demanding and overstimulated lives have left our minds and bodies aching for some R&R but with a modern twist. Enter, Self-care. The act of self-care can be defined as giving ones mind, body and soul fuel in the form of rituals and activities for the purpose of self preservation. Gone are the days of our parents who seemed to work and serve their families with little to no breaks for themselves. Somewhere along the way the robotic pre-flight instruction given by sharply dressed stewardesses resonated with newer generations: “Please, put on your own oxygen masks before assisting others and children.” We all must have been desperately craving self-care for us to have found inspiration from aviation safety.

The web, social media and entire sections at book stores are dedicated to self-care. While some of the ideas shared by them are useful, they are often redundant and bland. The self-care ideas flowing from these streams suggest activities like getting a pedicure, reading a good book, adult coloring books, yoga and going to the movies alone (I like the last two). Self-care also needs to be tailored to you, your needs and environment for it to be beneficial. Hygge, the Danish concept of comfort and contentment such as sitting curled up by a fire might not be great for you in the middle of summer and you may need to tweak the idea or omit it all together if you crave a deeper and more advanced version of self-care. For those of you needing to graduate from a mini spa-day for your self-care regimen, I am sharing my top 4 Advanced Self-Care ideas that I preach from my own personal practice. To try a self-love meditation read mirror, mirror.

Therapy

Getting counseling and therapy are by far the most important of self-care suggestions often missing from the book shelves on this topic. Introspection and professional guidance may seem like a task and even taboo but it is often our deeper subconscious issues that lead us to constantly run on empty. Sociology and psychology are one of the cornerstones of my education and I can’t help be an advocate for mental health but this type of self-care really is the crème de la crème of caring for yourself. Take the time to go to a few sessions. Just being given the opportunity to talk to someone without interruptions, who won’t judge, have biases and give you easy practices to follow can decompress a heavy mind and heart.
*Want therapy but can’t afford it? Go to the bottom of the article for this information.

Stop time

Believe it or not, we all have the super power of stopping time…if we only will. I was inspired to practice this self-care method by the Italian concept of Dolce far niente which means – the sweetness of doing nothing. In this practice, I physically tare myself aware, kicking and screaming of course and schedule myself a complete day off or a few hours from daily life. Stopping time entails physically removing yourself from your regular environment and to do absolutely NOTHING. Going to the beach by yourself, mountains or if you’re able, getting a hotel room for a day are examples. Get creative, think of the places that call to you like a point overlooking the city, a quiet park-bring a blanket and snacks or go to a special nook in your local library, if you must. The idea is to get away and do absolutely nothing and reset your soul. Imagine that time has stopped so you aren’t missing anything and can return once you’ve found a little peace for your deserving self. Don’t let mom or dad guilt deter you from doing this for yourself. Your family will thank you when you return home a more pleasant person.

Scream it out

Yes, scream. Ever have one of those days when you feel you’re on the verge of the ugly cry but can’t muster up the tears either? You feel like a pot of tea about to start whistling and need to let out trapped steam. Though perfectly sane, this practice can frighten those around you so you may want to let out a great big scream into a fluffy pillow or in the car (not while driving), under water in a pool or like me in the mountains overlooking a secluded lake. To do this: Tense up your body, fists especially and fill your lungs and belly with air. Exert all of the air in your lungs as you let out a big obnoxious scream. Your tense body will naturally release the tense posture as well. This may seem silly at first but know that this practice is meant to help you let off steam quickly. So, ignore inhibitions, practice self-love and allow yourself much needed release.

Just do it

If you’ve ever wanted to try something you’ve longed to but hesitate, try it now. Self-care also means allowing ourselves the time to pursue a wish, dream, ambition, education or challenge to enrich our lives. Some examples are, taking a class-my suggestion is to try hot yoga or restorative yoga which are different from a basic yoga class. In these you will be able to sweat off trapped energy or restore energy with soothing postures using the aid of bolsters to lean on and guided meditation to conclude. If yoga isn’t your thing, try a hip hop, adult ballet, piano, parenting or cooking class. Just take a single class and see if it ignites something in you. Perhaps, trying a new cuisine, or getting that haircut you keep pinning pictures of but can’t commit to. Remember, nothing venture, nothing gained. The idea here is to step outside yourself and comfort zone for deeper more meaningful self-care.

Needless to say self-care of any kind can benefit us and those around us in powerful ways. The idea of giving yourself a little attention needn’t be thought of as self indulgent and rather, self compassion. In fact, caring for oneself is an intelligent and conscientious act that can better the quality and may even increase the longevity of our lives with benefits to our health. Self-care can also evolve with us, where once soaking in a bath tub was a great release but may now be filled with interruptions from kids and what to make for dinner on the mind. Going to therapy or finally learning to play the piano may be what is most nourishing for your soul now. Taking the first step minus the excuses is the most important. It will lead us on the path to true self-care and at the end we may find it was the path to love for ourselves and others alike.

What types of self-care do you practice and recommend? What do you think about journaling as self-care?Tell us in the comment section below.

*Therapy and counseling information: Try your work’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which is totally confidential and should cover the entire or partial cost of a few sessions. Mental Health America has great information on low cost to free therapy in your community. Also, you can dial 211 or go here and the organization will connect you to appropriate providers. Your place of worship and if you’re a student try your campus resources. Both of these are good options for free couseling/therapy. NAMI or SAMHSA are also helpful sites for support and crisis intervention.